It’s only normal for couples, especially married ones, to have arguments now and then. But if left unchecked, these fights can lead to more serious problems and cause strain to the relationship.
Couples who have been together longer know when a fight is brewing or is about to erupt. Becoming aware of when and how arguments happen can help couples prevent heated discussions from escalating into full-blown fights.
Here are five ways couples can calmly resolve their issues.
Always start with “I”
If things are starting to get heated up, couples must take it down a notch by starting their sentences with and “I” instead of a “you.” Doing this will help shift the focus and make the other person see things from a different perspective instead of feeling blamed for the problem.
Studies have shown that people tend to feel better and be more accommodating when sitting comfortably on cushioned surfaces. When conversations begin turning into heated discussions, couples are advised to move to a more comfortable sitting area, preferably one with cushioned or padded seats.
When getting into an argument, couples can help diffuse the tension using touch. Holding hands can help strengthen the connection between two people, increasing feelings of trust and reducing tension and stress in the process.
Instead of focusing too much on what to say next, couples should practise asking questions to better understand each other in moments when fights are about to erupt. Asking questions such as “How have I upset you?” or “Why did that make you feel hurt?” will help diffuse fights and allow one person to talk less and to listen more.
It may not feel like the right time, but cracking a joke mid-discussion can help two arguing people break into laughter and release tension. It will force them to take a breather and pause to reflect on what is happening and take a step back to solve it more amicably.