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Help: I’m in love with my cousin and its killing me

Help: I’m in love with my cousin and its killing me

OK here is my story its so messed up .

omg ok so last new years I went to visit my cousins I never ever see them maybe a few times. and we all had lots of fun then my cousins friend really liked me hit on me all night …. but at the end of the night me and my cousin (lets call him jay ) ended up texting eachother alot… and saying things like if only we wernt related… and it kinda went from there … we didn’t really say much after that for a wile and i ended up liking his friend ( call him Gary ) but me and jay would still flirt and such… and one day he decided to come visit me … and we ended up talking about our feeling towards eachother and everything else and said well lets just kiss see if it feels right …and omg it did …. and well we ended up dating for a month ..

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I am not close to my family at all but he is alot!! loves his friends and family .. i couldn’t care what anyone thinks but he does. and so he broke it off he said if it got so serious to the point he wanted to marry me he couldn’t bring himself to tell the people he loves.

:(

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so i started to move on and all lof a sudden Gary wanted to be with me !!! so i figured well i gotta move on so i told jay and he said he wouldn’t stand in the way of me being happy… so me and Gary started dating i went to visit him for his b day .

He worked days tho so i ended up spending most the weekend with jay and even slept in his bed …. we didn’t do anything tho… and then when i came home Gary broke up with me cause he couldn’t deal with the distance.
but I cant get jay off my mind me and him are so perfect for eachother in every way and I think he feels the same way about me but I cant help it I’m in love with him I donno how it happened but when i see him i just want to hold him and kiss him and be with him forever its soooooooo f**ked:( what the hell do I do ? I feel like he was meant for me and i just want him so badly …

:(

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