You should go for what you want, right? It’s a simple question, but the answer needs a little bit more explanation.
When it comes to persistence with women, there are two different scenarios guys usually fall into.
There is the guy who keeps trying and the girl doesn’t respond or asks him to go away, and then there is the guy who keeps trying and gets the girl.
What makes these guys different? And why do they get different results?
For most guys, this is a mystery.
Mentality is the first difference and awareness is the second.
First, let’s look at mentality.
The mentality of the guy who gets success is much different. He wants the girls but doesn’t need her.
If he doesn’t get the girl, he may feel bad for a short time, but overall he feels great because he is secure and centered in who he is.
The guy who doesn’t get results and is persistent is usually coming from the angle of wanting and needing the girl. When he doesn’t get the girl, he judges himself and generally feels bad about himself and who he is.
He also will spend hours of his time needlessly replaying the same negative thoughts in his head.
“Persistence is good if
you know how to use it.”
The second aspect of persistence is awareness.
The guy who gets results is aware of queues the girl gives. He also is aware of the social environment. He knows when to move forward and when to back off. He is very alert and knows exactly what he wants.
The girl may be telling him she doesn’t want him, but he can read in between the lines and sees she is testing him. He has put in the time to learn these signs and what they mean.
The guy who isn’t getting the girl is generally less aware of signs. When the girl pushes him away, he feels bad and starts judging himself rather than reading what she actually means.
He may might call her too frequently, not give her breathing room or be overly aggressive. He doesn’t know when and how to act in order to move things forward in a smooth way.
He just knows he wants to feel good, so he keeps pushing.
What should you do?
There are so many things you can do to come from a non-needy mentality. The main thing you want to do is learn to value yourself and love yourself.
Put yourself first and develop yourself. Be proud of who you are and what you have accomplished. Make a list of reasons why you are awesome and what makes you valuable.
You have to bring value to the table if you want anyone to respect you or spend time with you.
A good starting point for awareness is to find a way to rack up a lot of dates.
Get a lot of experience under your belt and learn how to become more sensitive to female communication and underlying meanings. When you do find that really special girl, you won’t miss the opportunities she presents to you.
You will already be a pro at interpreting what she is trying to tell you.
It takes a little bit of time, but it is a fun learning experience.
Remember, good persistence is being confident and aware, while bad persistence being is needy and confused. Persistence, itself, is a good thing as long as you know how to use it.
3 Mistakes Guys Make Early On in a Relationship
In the early stages of a relationship, you may feel a mixture of emotions, ranging from extreme highs like excitement, anticipation and thrill, to extreme lows like insecurity and uncertainty.
Being in a new relationship with a great girl can be a lot of fun, but you may also find yourself a bit confused about the things you should be doing or saying while in this early relationship stage.
Let me ease your confusion with the top three mistakes guys make early on in a relationship and what you can do to avoid them.
Acting like a female.
Guys, a big turn-off to most girls is when you start to act like a female. Acting like a female refers to the type of guy that is overly emotional, insecure, moody, drops everything for a girl when she calls, asks a million questions and constantly displays his “feminine” side.
After all, most women want a “real man” and a guys’ guy. If you show ANY signs of being needy or insecure, this could be a reason for her to lose interest.
Women may love the open communication and the fact you can express yourself well, but if you appear to be really “INTO” her, you might want to hold back just a little bit.
Ladies like being desired and chased, but feeling like you may be smothering and “stalker-like” will raise some red flags.
“Avoid making promises or statements
you can’t keep or live up to.”
Creeping her Facebook and liking everything.
If she’s accepted you as a friend on Facebook, I would say the MAXIMUM number of “likes” you should display publicly is one or two profile pictures.
It’s one thing for a girl to assume she is being creeped on by a new guy via Facebook, but it’s another thing when the new guy likes EVERY SINGLE photo on her profile, INCLUDING pictures of her from four years ago. She get’s it, you like her.
To the rest of the world, this sort of behavior is creepy. I’ve had girls tell me they wanted to block this person or “limit” them because the new guy is liking pictures and statuses at all hours of the day. Obsessed much?
Texting vs. calling.
We are in a society where texting has replaced verbal communication. The challenge with texting is there is a lot of room for misinterpretation and miscommunication.
Also, girls tend to freak out, prejudge and monitor your “response time” to texts after they think you received them.
I would establish communication rules in the early stages of a relationship so you can set some guidelines up front about how each of you prefer to communicate.
Whenever there is confusion over communication styles, I would advise you to pick up the phone and call her. You should always be considerate of the times you contact her so there is an opportunity to actually converse with one another.
Some girls ONLY text, while some girls ONLY like calls. Some girls live on their FB profiles, tweet, email or use some preferred messenger app. Your job is to figure out if she prefers texting or calling.
AVOID specific times to call back, as you never know what you might be doing at that time. You wouldn’t want her coming to any sort of conclusions when you don’t call back at the moment you said you would.
Remember, you’re also being judged by your WORD and how often you break it, so avoid making promises or statements you can’t keep or live up to.