When you feel like you are trapped in a marriage and you have complaints about your man, you want to do something about it. Life is too short to be spent ‘managing’ and coping when you think you would be better off on your own or maybe even with someone else.
Before you call it quits and move on to supposed pastures green, let’s look at some of the things your man may have been doing to wind you up.
You think there is a problem when your man gets on well with your family. He visits your parents and siblings without you, he is always on the phone with your brother, and he buys your family gifts without telling you. Why stay with such a man? He is taking over your life. He needs to learn to mind his own business and leave your family alone. What is his game plan anyway? Trying to impress the in-laws? Leave him!
If he wants to attend parties with you then you are quite right to assume he has a problem. Why can’t he stay at home like some men or go out with his own friends and get drunk? Are you his minder? He is suffocating you and you can do without all the attention he insists on showering you. Leave him!
Praying is another big issue. Each person will answer to God for his own actions so why should you seek God together? When your husband insists on having family prayer goals with you, you know you are in trouble. Surely he wants to ride on the back of your ‘exceptional’ spirituality to enter heaven? Let him pray on his own and leave you to pray on your own. You need to leave this loser before he collects all your blessings.
He calls it being careful with money, you call it stinginess. He is stingy, period. He wants to make sure he completes the hire purchase payments on your car before he buys a brand new generator. Your house still doesn’t have any carpets after one year because he is saving up before he orders them, when he could just get a bank loan. Everything is carefully calculated and accounted for. He can’t live in the moment and buy you some extravagant present with the money in your joint savings account. He really should go and marry his money.
He works hard, so hard that he hardly has time for other things. However he is never too tired to stand too close to you when you are doing the dishes or while you are distracted watching TV. Everyone knows that married couples don’t have the hots for each other after the first few years of marriage. Here you are, after 10 years and he is always willing and ready. You know it is not viagra. You don’t know what it is about you that makes him so excited but it has to stop.Leave him!
He always insists on seeing the positive side to all things, even disasters. How can someone tell you it was God’s will when he lost out on a promotion at work to his junior colleague? He doesn’trealise that it is a perfect opportunity to gnash teeth and be miserable for weeks, while he plans his revenge? Nothing vexes him and he is quick to forgive. He doesn’t know how to keep malice and when people take advantage of him he just withdraws but won’t create a scene or retaliate. You want your man to be known as a firebrand/local-crazeman who is quick to get into arguments and fights. This shows manliness, according to you and your man is too peaceful to be that. Leave him!
He can spend ages playing with the kids. Is he a child? He should know better than running around the house yelling and screaming with the kids. If you wanted to marry a man-child you could have married someone at least 10 years younger than you. Dads are supposed to be withdrawn and unapproachable. Mums are supposed to be fun, caring ones and he is trying to take your place. Leave him!
He can’t tell lies. Even when he is supposed to lie and cover up something he has done, he always tells you that total honesty between you is key. You on the other hand, can tell lies without any qualms. Why should he make you feel guilty about this?. Not everyone is comfortable with sharing every little secret so his ‘disclose all’ policy is suffocating you. Leave him!
He also has a clean fetish. Everything must be extra clean. He wants you to wash all clothes after each wear and even employed a washman for you. Who has time for all that? All your clothes will fade if washed too often and you believe he justlikes to complain that you and kids tend to smell of sweat. Who doesn’t? He has too many pet hates for your liking. Leave him.
We can now see that this man is not the man for you. The qualities you seem to want in a man are not present in your man. Leave him and go out there and look for a man who will be everything you want. What you think are problems are attributes women want in their men, but different strokes for different folks, right?
If you are reading this and you want to leave your man because he does all of the above, please could you leave the man’s phone number in the comments section below so that single ladies know to ‘avoid’ him.
Seriously though, your man might not be perfect but he is probably better than average. Don’t leave him for flimsy reasons. May God give us the wisdom to know when we have a bird in hand. As the saying goes, that bird is usually worth more than 2 or more in the bush.